Chasing the Silence
by watcher-ofthe-sky
Summary: "We aren't any different, are we?" Erik asked with a bitter amusement in his voice. "I can't stop hearing. You can't stop babbling. Both of us don't know what quietness feels like." Jerik (Jellal x Erik). Written for Jerik Week 2019.


**My submission for Jerik Week 2019 hosted by fuckyeahjerik on Tumblr**

**Prompt: "I want to stop running, you know." + "You need to stop chattering" + "Today, let's just exist together"**

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"Do they ever stop?" Jellal asked, gulping. His throat has dried up after the hours of walking.

Erik doesn't spare him a glance. He sat against the bark of the tree, his skin glistening with sweat.

"The voices, I mean," Jellal explained.

"No."

Jellal watched him; the closed eye, the body looking like a exhausted frame. He could see the stress burning the man.

"We aren't any different, are we?" Erik asked with a bitter amusement in his voice. "I can't stop hearing. You can't stop babbling. Both of us don't know what quietness feels like."

Jellal sighed. He bit his lip and stared at the sky. He was tired of finding an escape. There is no way out of your own mind, after all. You are caged by your thoughts; enslaved by them.

"I want to stop running, you know," Erik said finally. He was now staring too at the dusk spilling across. He looked beautiful under the gold and orange light, Jellal thought.

"You mean—"

"No," Erik shook his head. "Not this running; from one place to another for our lives. I can live with that, it's the only thing we have been doing all this time. Maybe—" he shrugged, "Maybe it's the only thing we know. I don't know what having a home would be like, anyway. I meant this running from the voices. One would think that I should have made my peace with them by now after all these years. You think that you're ready; that no thought can get through you now," he lowered his head and whispered, "can break you. But... it does."

Jellal didn't know what to say. He didn't know that any person can understand what he has felt all this while. But there Erik was, voicing his thoughts. Erik wanted escape from other's thoughts while Jellal wanted from his own. It's a good thing that he had strong mental walls which at the very least, prevented Erik from hearing all the deeper darker thoughts.

He was almost tempted to ask what Erik had heard. They had been fighting earlier against a cult who had kidnapped the people and taken over their village. After all the thrashing, they expected the leader to finally give in. Except the man had only smirked and then killed himself.

There, Jellal saw Erik recoiling in disgust. His face looked like he was about to throw up. He had heard the man's thoughts; seen the glimpse of his mind and the horrendous things he had done.

What's worse was that the man died without a shred of guilt and regret. To be proud of the horrible crimes you've done, it was disgusting.

"It's better if you don't know," The Dragon Slayer said, breaking Jellal's reverie.

"I told you to not peek in," Jellal said, although he knew that there was no use.

"You need to stop chattering," Erik replied.

Jellal exhaled in exasperation. He turned to look at Erik and saw his gaze still fixed at the sky. The stars had already started to come out.

"Hey," he said. "Come here." Jellal extended his hand out to Erik. The man slowly looked at him, blinking at the hand. Finally, he accepted it and shifted to sit beside him.

Jellal threaded his fingers in Erik's hair, smoothing his locks and gently massaging his temple. Erik still puzzled at the tenderness, his body stiff; slowly, he gave in and tried to relax under the touch. Jellal felt that he could almost see the weight of the world on the man's shoulder.

His hands trailed down to cup Erik's face, thumb running over the scar. He admired the bronze skin, the maroon hair falling over the eye. He slowly smiled and said, "You know, you're beautiful."

"That's sappy," Erik said. Jellal could see the slight blush spreading over the dark skin as he caught the man off guard with the compliment.

"I don't think that is a problem," he whispered over Erik's lips and then kissed them. It started slowly, a soft brush, and then turned into something hungry and intense as Erik kissed back. Jellal knew that the man needed it; to channel out the thoughts and voices and the burden into something that can burn them out—maybe not fully, but to an extent at least.

Slowly, Erik pulled back, his body on top of Jellal. Through the heavy breaths, he whispered, "It won't ever get better, right?"

Jellal looked at the dishevelled hair, the dark wine eye staring at him, the slightly parted lips. He could see that there was pain stinging Erik.

Jellal stroked his cheek; slowly touching his forehead to his and said, "Maybe. Maybe not. We don't know what will happen tomorrow. You don't have to be okay right now. Today let's just exist together. You're not alone in this."

Erik slightly smiled, a crack of relief rippling on his face. And that was enough for both of them.

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**[A/N]:** Look, I know that was nothing. I wanted to contribute at least something, and yes, after the week is over, I have awakened. You would think that as one of the organisers of the week, I would know better. But you are wrong.

On another note, fuckyeahjerik on Tumblr is still accepting submissions for Jerik Week.


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